How do you decide when it's time- euthanasia

[jenn]

TLDR version: old dog, trouble walking, bowel control bad and a worsening sanitation and chore issue for me/us. When is it time to put her down?

16 yo German Shepherd mix with bad hips and deafness- apparently no other health problems. Always happy to eat and will usually struggle up to walk when food is not brought to her. Sometimes happy to walk a much shorter distance than a few years back, other times dragging a foot or her backside on the ground after a short walk around the yard or really resisting moving at all. When she does stand up she pauses at the water bowl and drinks as if she has been neglecting her need for water for days. Constantly sleeping. Not in much pain now we have her on a good medication regimen- seems it's just hard for her to rise to all 4 legs not that it hurts her to do so as was the case before. Still just barely able to get in the car, and was happy at her old boarding situation but they've closed- haven't tried a new one yet. Real tough on slick surface like our wood floor. Not noticing the urge to poop, or else willing to ignore it- pooping in or out house while lying there, probably sometimes in her sleep. Also near normally when walking (doesn't squat as she used to anymore) at other times. Easy for DH to help her stand, not for me.

We really do plan to put her down before we have a grandbaby crawling in the house around the dogs- too dangerous then, but that's several months off. Almost made the appointment during a cold snap when we couldn't humanely leave her outside but she was having liquid stool. Figured if the stool change was permanent our sanity was at risk, but back to normal logs we can easily pick up and don't soak through the blankets we have her lie down on inside.

Of course I get up earlier and spend more time outside so I, not DH, am handling most of the poop scooping and hosing off porches and washing blankets and towels. We're past our coldest time so not too many more nights she can't sleep outside this year.

I'm a cattle farmer's granddaughter so I am definitely not going to spend a few $100/month 'fixing' things, or putting her through hip surgery. However I don't have the mindset that she had a job and is no longer doing it so she can be shot now (she doesn't alert us of guests anymore now she can no longer hear them driving up). And as DH brought up when I forced the conversation on him, "We've only put down one dog when we had to on the Army's schedule. Will you be comfortable with the reasons we give when the kids ask us why now not later?"

I believe if I were her I'd consider my life near worthless, but DH is a different mindset and unlike me won't consider euthanasia for himself if that's available in future.

So how have you decided or how do you expect to decide? Recently put down a cat who was quite sickly, underweight, and soiling itself- chose euthanasia over extensive tests which MIGHT have found a thyroid problem and then would have had to get medicine in her daily, something we haven't even done short term (ear drops) or monthly with unwilling cats.

[mzgarden]

No one can convince you, if you're not convinced. I put myself in the animal's position and consider if I want to live like this - does my tail wag, are my eyes lit up or am I tired. My experience - most people know, but hesitate. I've taken animals of friends to the vet for them, when they couldn't do it. Think of the animal first.

[gayle]

I try not to do to any living being that is in my care what I wouldn't want done to me. I just try to make them comfortable and let them live until they die on their own.

[Woodpecker]

I did the same gayle, when my DD’s 15 year old Jack Russell Terrier couldn’t hear or see well anymore. He was slower than he’d been, had a tough time getting up the little jump to porch to come inside. Son built him a little ramp to walk up. Then he couldn’t get up on that himself, so we would pick him up and bring him inside.

He was my daughter’s little boy and I couldn’t end his life while he was still doing well enough, eating etc. so I gave him to God as always…then one morning when I went downstairs, the little guy couldn’t stand up, just laid there. He would try to get up and fall.

We took him that day to go to Heaven with his “mama”. It broke my heart as we stood with him , pet his little head and rubbed his soft ears. He went peacefully home.

You’ll know jenn, when it’s time…

[Maura]

Sixteen is really old for a dog that size. Keep in mind they won't complain, especially a German shepherd. I prefer to let them die on their own, but that isn't really what you are doing.

Are you keeping him alive for yourself, or for the dog? That is what I had to come to terms with.

Slipping on the floors could be from nails being too long, but could be from fur on the foot bottoms. She is no longer keeping the foot fur short by running around outside so you have to clip it yourself. I would take her to a chiropractic vet. The foot dragging is a sign that she needs an adjustment. Ask the vet about her quality of life.

[gran29]

Its a hard decision to make. Our little weenie dog was one month shy of 17 years old; he had lost control of his bodily functions; couldn't see or hear; then stopped eating. For a few days I could get him to drink a little broth and water then that stopped. Hearing him groan in pain, I knew it was time. Still a sad time. He was a good dog, very protective of me but never tried to bite anyone, a low growl being sufficient warning. Miss him.

[countrymom22]

They say that the dog will let you know when it's time and I've found that to be true. My criteria are:

-If the dog stops eating
-or seeks to be alone, not engaging with the family as usual
-If they can't get up or down on their own. Helping with a ramp or lifting is fine if it's doable. We built a ramp for our Lab as he did great, sometimes even running for a short distance on the flat. He just couldn't push his hips up the steps. Eventually that didn't work and I started taking him out the other door where he only had one step to do and it was much lower.
-If they can't get to water on their own, or remain standing long enough to drink.
-the soiling themselves is a big red flag for me. No animal wants to mess where they are laying. I can only think that is a miserable thing to have to live with. Especially for a dog that was reliably housebroken. It's really hard on them to know they did something wrong but couldn't help it.
-when the pain meds stop working. And they will.
-when the look in their eyes is asking to be let go.
-if they suffer from dementia, I would let them go sooner rather than later.  I can't imagine how terrifying it is to be scared or confused and not be able to hear or see your family trying to reassure you.

For me it's about quality of life. Is she having fun? Waging her tail? Gets excited about eating or when company comes over? If not, she isn't living, just existing.

But everyone has to make the decision on their own. Just please stay with her till the end. It is much easier on them if their beloved family helps then cross over. I explained to my kids why we were letting them go and gave them the opportunity to say their goodbyes.

Prayers for you and your family. This is never easy.

[dodgesmammaw]

Only answer I can give you is what the vet told the first time I faced this. You will know when it is time. She was right. My 141/2 year old girl. Stood up had a seizure pooped and peed it was just more than I could bear to see. I know she is waiting for me. Chasing butterflies.

I need to add this was on going not just a one time thing. 

[jenn]

The old cat I was researching how to relocate if we move this summer is missing for the 5th day now. The old dog is still puttering along. Guess if I didn't feel like it'll be a relief of a chore/ of chores to put her down I'd be less hesitant, but that's to avoid guilt on my part. If she were obviously in pain I'd not hesitate to alter meds or put her down. But I will feel I have wronged her if I wait until she is suffering obviously. Guess I just need to pick a time best suited not to add to our stress (ie not on anyone's birthday etc!) and view it as a service to her. For now definite deadline is before it is too cold end of year for her to stay outside, also probably if we move. Had a call into a home visiting vet when she was in a bad way but they never got back to me. Would help if DH would participate in decision so I felt less that it was all my choice.

[countrymom22]

It is so hard to make that final decision Jenn. My hubby leaves all animal related decisions to me, so at least I don't have to worry about him trying to stop me when I know it's time.

I'm sorry the cat is missing, but he may have gone off to die on his own. Many animals will do that if they can. As much as that hurts, I would feel a sense of relief if they make that decision for themselves.

Prayers.

[jenn]

Chloé went home today. She got two walks past the mailbox and through the yard the past two days, dog biscuits at every meal, went berserk today when I put on her choke chain (sign of a real walk such as she hasn't taken for years) but wouldn't go down the steps, settled fine in the truck after Dad carried her down the steps into it, happily toured all the good pee spots around the vet's parking lot, saw all her friends on staff at the vet, was a hard stick for the iv because she just hasn't been drinking as much water as she should, snored loudly once she got the sedating shot her head drooping downward on my supporting hand, and went very quick and easy with the final drug. Her sis who has been mostly ignoring her except to fight over food sat outside at the gate over an hour (she's an indoor dog) either waiting for Chloé or mad she hadn't been taken for a walk when we drove away. Just got back from doing the mile through the neighborhood with little sis and she's acting a little more normal. I'll wash Chloé's blankets and put away her arthritis meds tonight. Dunno when we'll tell the kids- just advised the pregnant one about the cat's leaving. Maybe after her new baby is settled, maybe I'll ask her husband.

[gayle]

I'm so sorry, jenn.

[susannah]

jenn, I'm very sorry!

[Maura]

You did your best and she went peacefully. A good life.

[solargeek]

Very sorry for you. Near that tough time with our 12.5 year old lab

[mogal]

My sympathy Jenn.

We have a 17 y/o cat...
Our male Pyr is 10 but for him, so far so good except for slowing down a little when the coyotes are out.

[Woodpecker]

So Sorry Jenn..I know how that feels...now she is romping around Heaven, that's a happy thought.

[countrymom22]

I'm so sorry Jenn. It's never easy having to make that decision, but it really is the last gift that we can give our beloved furry family members. I'm so glad she went peacefully with you at her side, as it should be. Prayers for you, your family and her sister.

Rest easy Chloe. You are missed.

[jenn]

Thank you all for the kind words. As I told the (nonprega, and after exams...) kid when I notified her on the phone I heard Chloé bark twice the night after her departing. Then two mornings later I woke from a dream I was petting her. Also our younger dog is acting normal again- less depressed. As am I. Dreading the final time, but seeing/dreading the poor life quality and apparent discomfort of the loved dog as we hemmed and hawed over whether it was time- that might mean we waited too long- but decision past and vet excellent at affirming we've done well by her.

The vet also explained that my friends and colleagues who got their dogs/ cats CHEMOTHERAPY etc are not horrid*: unlike me at 60 taking near deadly poisons to rid me of a cancer so I can live another 30 years, a cat or dog gets much milder, usually 1 drug not multi, to buy them another few years max. Not that I ever expect to opt for that for a pet.

*Cattle farmers' granddaughter on all sides, it is already weird to me that I/ DH don't just shoot our pets when it's time; keeping them alive well after they have any 'job' (at least barking when strangers drive up- no longer happening as their hearing goes) is far from my farming roots. Likely putting them through pain and suffering to prolong life seems obscene.

[stickinthemud]

Danielle, our aged chihuahua/spaniel rescue began to wander off into the weeds and woods, seemingly not just lost, but as if she wanted to leave.  So sorry for your loss, jenn. 

[countrymom22]

Jenn, as a dog groomer I come in contact with several of my clients who have put their dogs through chemo and or radiation. The chemo dogs suffered more than the vets tell you they do. The radiation dogs seemed to make out a little better and lived a little longer with better quality of life. I don't think I would do either.

One lady, whose husband was deployed overseas, opted to do chemo for their dog. It was her husband's dog and she was hoping to get the dog through until he came home. He made it home and took the dog out for a walk in the fields, then came in and took a nap. That sweet, old, happy, dog died curled up in her beloved person's lap. They should all be so lucky.

[mogal]

Mar 12, 2022 14:03:00 GMT mogal said:

My sympathy Jenn.

We have a 17 y/o cat...
Our male Pyr is 10 but for him, so far so good except for slowing down a little when the coyotes are out.

I'm quoting myself to make a correction and an update.  I found that cat as a 3-4 month old kitten in a parking lot along a busy street in town in  July 2004 so she turned 18 this month.

The update is that she died some time through the night, night before last.  I found her curled up as if asleep yesterday morning.  We buried her in a shady nook between an apple and a pear tree.  

[solargeek]

mogal so sorry for your loss. But really glad she died peacefully.

[Woodpecker]

Aww, sorry mogal

[countrymom22]

So sorry for your loss. But I'm glad she saved you from having to make that terrible decision.