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Post by mogal on Jan 29, 2021 21:42:37 GMT
Why didn't the koala not get the job?
He wasn't koala-fied.
Sorry, ya'll. DH heard that one on the radio. Supposedly it originated with a 4 year old child.
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Post by Rustaholic on Jan 30, 2021 11:02:27 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Jan 30, 2021 11:04:10 GMT
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Post by farmerjack on Jan 31, 2021 6:02:10 GMT
Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced:
“Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain. Welcome to Flight 293, non stop from London to New York. The weather ahead is good, so we should have an uneventful flight. So, set back, relax and OH.....My God”
Silence followed.......... complete silence!.......
Some moments later, the captain came back on the intercom.
“Ladies and gentlemen, I am sorry if I scared you. While I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants “
From the back of the plane, an Irish passenger yelled. “For the luvva Jaysus , you should see the back of mine!”
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Post by Rustaholic on Jan 31, 2021 11:46:11 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Jan 31, 2021 11:47:29 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Feb 1, 2021 11:21:29 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Feb 1, 2021 11:23:54 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Feb 2, 2021 11:36:07 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Feb 2, 2021 11:39:05 GMT
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Post by grannyg on Feb 2, 2021 16:54:46 GMT
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Post by grannyg on Feb 2, 2021 23:46:10 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Feb 4, 2021 11:25:47 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Feb 4, 2021 11:27:02 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Feb 5, 2021 11:15:23 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Feb 5, 2021 11:16:05 GMT
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Post by mogal on Feb 5, 2021 12:43:16 GMT
I have never seen that movie. Don't intend to. BUT I read the book when I was in my early 20's and it scared the bejeebers out of me. I also read Rosemary's Baby in less than a day. I later saw the movie and never trusted Ruth Gordon again in a movie.
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Post by mogal on Feb 6, 2021 9:26:28 GMT
If a mama dog has her puppies along the side of the road, can she be arrested for littering?
(Sorry about that one.)
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Post by Rustaholic on Feb 6, 2021 11:18:17 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Feb 6, 2021 11:19:21 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Feb 7, 2021 11:26:22 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Feb 7, 2021 11:29:49 GMT
I Like this guy, He thinks like I do.
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Post by rick on Feb 7, 2021 18:53:18 GMT
John Travolta tested negative for coronavirus last night. Turns out it was just Saturday nightfever. The World Health Organization has announced that dogs cannot contract Covid-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out. I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself “That's the last thing I need." Intelligence is like underwear. It is important that you have it, but not necessary that you show it off. Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y? A courtroom artist was arrested today for an unknown reason... details are sketchy. People are making end of the world jokes like there's no tomorrow. Whatever you do, always give 100%--unless you're donating blood. What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A roamin’ Catholic. What did Snow White say when she came out of the photo booth? Someday my prints will come. A girl said she recognized me from her vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore. Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson. I've always had an irrational fear of speed bumps but I'm slowly getting over it. What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it? Short. I've finally told my suitcases there will be no holiday this year. Now I'm dealing with the emotional baggage. If you're not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator? My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting "be positive," but it's hard without him. Don't let your worries get the best of you; remember, Moses started out as a basket case.
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Post by gayle on Feb 7, 2021 20:24:19 GMT
rick, as much as I tried not to laugh, some of those were hilarious!
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Post by Rustaholic on Feb 8, 2021 11:29:11 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Feb 8, 2021 11:30:22 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Feb 9, 2021 11:19:08 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Feb 9, 2021 11:20:17 GMT
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Post by grannyg on Feb 10, 2021 21:46:16 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Feb 11, 2021 11:39:18 GMT
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