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Post by Rustaholic on Dec 9, 2020 11:48:20 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Dec 9, 2020 11:49:15 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Dec 9, 2020 11:50:20 GMT
We all love seeing a cheater getting their just desserts don’t we? This one is right up there with other jokes about a husband who ends up paying for his infidelity in a way he never thought would happen. A very rich married man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. The man not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, told the Italian woman he would pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child and if she stayed in Italy to raise the child he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. The Italian woman was skeptical but she agreed. She then asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discreet, he told her to simply mail him a post card and write “spaghetti” on the back. And once he got the postcard he would then arrange for the child support to begin. One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. “Sweetie,” she said, “you received a very strange post card today from Italy.” “Oh, just give it to me and I’ll explain it later,” he said. The wife said ok and then watched as her husband read the card, turned white and fainted. On the card was written: spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without. Send extra sauce.
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Post by Rustaholic on Dec 10, 2020 11:36:08 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Dec 10, 2020 11:36:54 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Dec 10, 2020 11:38:05 GMT
A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling. “Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?!” he yelled with surprising forcefulness. No one answered. “Alright, I’m gonna have another beer, and if my horse ain’t back outside by the time I finish, I’m gonna do what I done in Texas! And I don’t like to have to do what I done in Texas! Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The man, true to his word, had another beer, walked outside, and his horse has been returned to the post. He saddled up and started to ride out of town. The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, “Say partner, before you go… what happened in Texas?” The cowboy turned back and said, “I had to walk home.”
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Post by Rustaholic on Dec 11, 2020 11:20:53 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Dec 11, 2020 11:21:52 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Dec 11, 2020 11:25:55 GMT
This has to be one of the most awkward gynecologist visits ever. This woman will certainly never forget this one-of-a-kind experience that made her blush. Once you read her story you’ll understand why she is never visiting that doctor again. This is simply hilarious. I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor’s office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45 am. The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn’t have any time to spare. As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn’t going to be able to make the full effort. So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the washcloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in that area to make sure I was at least presentable. I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment. I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called in. Knowing the procedure, as I’m sure you do, I hopped up on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that I was in Paris or some other place a million miles away. I was a little surprised when the doctor said, My, we have made an extra effort this morning, haven’t we? I didn’t respond. After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home. The rest of the day was normal… Some shopping, cleaning, and cooking. After school when my 6-year-old daughter was playing, she called out from the bathroom, Mommy, where’s my washcloth? I told her to get another one from the cupboard. She replied, No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had all my glitter and sparkles saved inside it. Never going back to that doctor again…Never
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Post by Rustaholic on Dec 12, 2020 11:22:57 GMT
Something is wrong here. 1. She has never driven a stick shift before. 2. She has never paid any attention to anyone else who was driving a stick shift car or truck.
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Post by Rustaholic on Dec 12, 2020 11:24:42 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Dec 12, 2020 11:26:30 GMT
At a yard sale I asked a lady about a stereo that was for sale. She said the volume was stuck on high so she'd take 5 bucks and I thought.... I can't turn that down....
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Post by Rustaholic on Dec 13, 2020 11:55:50 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Dec 13, 2020 11:56:38 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Dec 13, 2020 12:00:08 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Dec 14, 2020 11:26:58 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Dec 14, 2020 11:28:21 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Dec 14, 2020 11:29:48 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Dec 15, 2020 11:19:04 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Dec 15, 2020 11:20:27 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Dec 15, 2020 11:21:59 GMT
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Post by Melissa on Dec 15, 2020 12:29:35 GMT
Rustaholic, Thanks for always posting! Nice to get a laugh.
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Post by Rustaholic on Dec 16, 2020 11:39:53 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Dec 16, 2020 11:40:42 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Dec 16, 2020 11:41:39 GMT
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Post by mogal on Dec 16, 2020 23:30:56 GMT
Oh, Rustaholic, I see you've met our almost 17 year old house cat, Little Kitty.
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Post by Rustaholic on Dec 17, 2020 11:15:30 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Dec 17, 2020 11:16:21 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Dec 17, 2020 11:17:14 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Dec 18, 2020 11:12:42 GMT
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