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Post by Rustaholic on Oct 30, 2020 9:10:14 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Oct 31, 2020 12:30:27 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Oct 31, 2020 12:31:24 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Nov 1, 2020 11:46:33 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Nov 1, 2020 11:47:32 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Nov 1, 2020 13:56:03 GMT
I need to stop downloading so many of these funnies at a time, I started out putting an A in front of each name of a funny now I just finished the H ones and there were 209 of them to do. I guess when I get all the way through the alphabet I will have to start by putting AA in front of the first set.
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Post by snoozy on Nov 1, 2020 17:04:14 GMT
Rustaholic, thank you so much for posting these. These times are so stressful and fraught, and the election just in a few days, that these bits of humor and wit and harmless humor are like a redirect to a toddler just about to have a meltdown. Just a few a day like a vitamin "H" (for humor) drip is good.
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Post by stickinthemud on Nov 1, 2020 21:05:40 GMT
Ditto what snoozy said, rustaholic! Thank you muchly!
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Post by Woodpecker on Nov 1, 2020 22:58:50 GMT
Yes Rusty🥰thanks!
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Post by Rustaholic on Nov 2, 2020 21:55:17 GMT
I have seen this happen when I was in Traverse City, Michigan. I know I missed a day but we were without any internet at all for almost a full day and a half.
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Post by Rustaholic on Nov 2, 2020 22:01:48 GMT
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Post by mogal on Nov 2, 2020 22:47:33 GMT
I have seen this happen when I was in Traverse City, Michigan. I know I missed a day but we were without any internet at all for almost a full day and a half. Since we're on a rural school bus route, our road is usually plowed out pretty early. Sometimes if a heavy snow is predicted, the plow drivers will make one pass then come back when the storm passes to clear the road completely. That really plays havoc on our driveway and mail box especially since disturbed snow is stiffer than what falls naturally. I've even gotten our old Ford tractor stuck in that stuff but the one we have now has 4 wheel drive. Yep, I can see this happening.
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Post by Rustaholic on Nov 3, 2020 11:32:55 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Nov 3, 2020 11:33:50 GMT
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Post by mogal on Nov 3, 2020 11:51:38 GMT
Jeff Dunham strikes again. I can't help but wonder what Jeff was imbibing when he created this Peanut character and if "Walter" doesn't look like a certain Democrat presidential candidate, I'll eat my hat. I heard Jeff say in an interview that Walter was inspired by what Jeff thought he himself would look like as an old man but no, it's Joe spot on.
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Post by Rustaholic on Nov 4, 2020 11:39:58 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Nov 4, 2020 11:40:51 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Nov 4, 2020 15:20:09 GMT
An elderly couple was celebrating their 60th anniversary. They had married as childhood sweethearts and moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired. Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered and found the old desk they’d shared, where Jerry had carved the words ‘I love you, Sally’. On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up and, not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money and found that it was $50,000! Jerry said: “We’ve got to give it back.” But Sally put the money back in the bag, hid it in their attic and said: “Finders keepers.” The next day, two police officers were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money and knocked on their door. The officer said: “Pardon me, did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car yesterday?” Sally shook her head. Jerry said: “She’s lying. She hid it up in the attic.” Sally said: “Don’t believe him, he’s getting senile.” The agents turned to Jerry and began to question him. One said: “Tell us the story from the beginning.” Jerry said: “Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday.” The first police officer turned to his partner and said: “We’re outta here!”
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Post by christie on Nov 5, 2020 3:17:12 GMT
Jeff Dunham strikes again. I can't help but wonder what Jeff was imbibing when he created this Peanut character and if "Walter" doesn't look like a certain Democrat presidential candidate, I'll eat my hat. I heard Jeff say in an interview that Walter was inspired by what Jeff thought he himself would look like as an old man but no, it's Joe spot on. Joe who? Looks like a scrawled character in Dunham's head.
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Post by Rustaholic on Nov 5, 2020 11:36:19 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Nov 5, 2020 11:37:58 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Nov 5, 2020 12:01:32 GMT
My husband and I went through the Macdonald’s Drive thru window and I gave the girl a five dollar bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c. She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar back.' She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said 'We're sorry but we don’t do that kind of thing.' The cashier then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change. Do not confuse the people at Macdonald’s.
We had to have the garage door repaired. The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'You need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two.' We haven't used that repairman since...
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local city council office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
An IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE. My daughter went to a Mexican fast food and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
The pedestrian light on the corner beeps when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an 'intellectually challenged' co-worker of mine. She asked if I knew what the beeper was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'what on earth are blind people doing driving?!' She is a government employee.....
When my wife and I arrived at a car dealership to pick up our car after a Service, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. ‘Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'it’s open!' His reply, 'I know. I already did that side.' STAY ALERT! They walk among us, they breed, and they vote…....
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Post by mogal on Nov 5, 2020 14:08:02 GMT
Scary, isn't it? Those are the people who will care for us when we get to "the home."
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Post by Rustaholic on Nov 6, 2020 11:18:53 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Nov 6, 2020 11:19:47 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Nov 6, 2020 11:57:46 GMT
A Slight Case of Mistaken Identity The treasury department checked up on the sale of war bonds and found that the folks in the hills of West Virginia were not buying bonds. They sent a special representative down to work on the job. He approached a tumbled down shack and saw a man sitting on the porch. He walked up and introduced himself. “I’m from the treasury department. I’ve been sent down here to sell war bonds. You’ve heard of bonds haven’t you?” “Wal, Can’t say as I have” answered the Mountaineer. “Well maybe you have heard of Roosevelt?” “Nope, never heard of him neither.” “Well, surely you’ve heard of Pearl Harbor?” “Nope, never heard of her neither.” “You must have heard of Churchill though.” “Nope, Don’t know where that hill is neither.” “Good Heavens, man! You surely must know that the word is in a lot of trouble. You must have heard of the trouble?” About this time a voice inside the shack called out. “What’s going on out there?” The mountaineer replied. “There’s a feller out here by the name of Roosevelt, says he took Pearle Harbor up on Church hill and got her in trouble. Now the durn fool wants me to go his bond.” Needless to say, Our treasury agent gave this up as a bad job and volunteered for the Marine Corp.
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Post by Rustaholic on Nov 7, 2020 11:26:11 GMT
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Post by mzgarden on Nov 7, 2020 12:27:10 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Nov 8, 2020 11:31:04 GMT
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Post by Rustaholic on Nov 8, 2020 11:31:57 GMT
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